Heroes Kiss The Starlight
by angel-death-dealer
Summary: Jate! Jack and Kate have a good relationship which turns sour because of false circumstances, when things get in the way, who will be the first to let things lie and start over? Or are they over forever? How long can they stand to be apart?
1. No More Running

**A/N: This fic was finally put into works thanks to Lostbeth, who urged me to post it up. Basically, my love life is so crappy at the moment, that I've turned my long drawn out love triangle at school into a Jate fic. Remember, no matter what happens, it's JATE. So everything that happens has been adapted from real life. Hope it isn't too cheesy/corny etc, but there's loads of action, arguements, and revelations.**

She was backing away, slowly stepping further away from him. Jack wouldn't let her do that, not after she had just kissed him. It was the strangest experience of his life. One minute he had been walking up to her, angry, and then the next she was in his arms crying, before launching herself onto his lips, and furthermore - he had liked it. Judging from the estranged way that she had now turned and was running away from him, he thought that maybe she hadn't seen the smile that had crossed his lips when she had pulled away, or maybe she hadn't seen him at all.

For a few moments, all he could do was call after her. "KATE!" But no, by the time her name had sounded on his lips, she was gone, behind a bush, and into the wild of the jungle. He stood still, waiting for her to turn back, to return to where she had stood a few seconds ago, so that he could kiss her again, and tell her how he felt, but she didn't.

_Why does she always have to run?_

That was the one question that he needed answers for the most. He could understand why she ran from her past, from her old life, but he didn't understand why she felt that she had to run away from him. Surely she knew she could trust him? After all, when he had found out about her past, he had kept it a secret, he had respected her privacy, and when she wanted to tell him, he hadn't pressed her. When Sawyer found out that she was a criminal, he had told everyone, exposed her at the worst possible time, and kept on taunting her long after the pain had set in. Worse still, he hadn't even apologized, and then when he came back, Kate had inisisted taking care of him. She was right, he didn't understand her at all.

But he sure as hell loved her.

Making his mind up, he followed her in the direction she had run off.

* * *

At the caves, Claire was giving Charlie another much needed haircut. His hair grew so quickly, she really didn't understand it. It had taken her years to grow out her own hair, and at the length it was now, she had been growing it since she was thirteen. For Charlie to get it to the same length, he would have to grow it for maybe three months, possibly four a push. It was so thick as well, which she also envied. Her sister, Leah, used to have thick hair, unlike Claire's whispy curls. Leah's had been straight as well, at least she couldn't envy Charlie for that. His would be curlier than hers if he grew it.

"Got a delivery for you, Mamacita."

She turned from straightening Charlie's uneven fringe to see Sawyer waltzing up to them with Aaron in his arms - not asleep, but amused enough to be quiet nonetheless.

"Thanks," She said, as she took Aaron in her arms. "Did he behave?" She asked as Aaron reached out and took her thumb in his hands as he always did.

"You bet, he was no trouble." Sawyer said confidently.

"Not you, I was talking to Aaron." Claire said, giving Sawyer a well needed jab in his ego. She set down Aaron in his cradle, and went back to Charlie's hair.

"Aaron?" Sawyer asked.

"Oh yeah, Claire finally named him while you were away on the raft." Charlie told him. "Sorry." He said to Claire when she tapped him on the side of the head with the comb for moving his head.

"Funny, Turnip-Head seemed to suit him once you got used to it." Sawyer thought aloud.

"See!" Charlie protested. "Perfectly good name."

"I'm not letting my son grow up with a name like Turnip-head." Claire said defiantly, but with a laugh. "I like Aaron."

"I guess thats alright too." Sawyer said, not wanting to be attacked with Claire's comb.

"I mean it, Sawyer, thank you. You didn't have to take him."

"Naw, it was the least I could do. Besides, I missed the kid when I was out there. It would have been nice to have someone to talk to who wasn't going to tell me I'm going nuts or ask stupid questions." Even though he wasn't 100 yet, Sawyer hated being told to lie down constantly, so he had wandered down to the caves and volunteered to take Turnip-head, sorry, Aaron for a walk so that the ex-rock star could have his hair cut.

Hurley also came over to them, and laughed at the sight of Charlie having his hair cut yet again. "Claire, dude, do you think you can do mine sometime?" He asked, tagging on the bottom of his curls. "The length is making my neck too hot."

"Sure," Claire said. "I'll just finish up with Charlie's."

Hurley sat down beside Charlie in the sand. "Have you noticed yet?" He asked.

"Noticed what?"

"It."

"It?"

"Yeah, it."

"What is 'it'?" Charlie asked.

"Jack and Kate!" Hurley exclaimed.

"What about them?" Charlie asked, trying not to move incase he got his eye poked out with scissors.

"Have you noticed how they're, like, always hanging together recently. Like with the golf the other day, what's up with that?"

Charlie supressed a giggle, and went for a sarcastic comment instead. "Maybe they're identical twins that look completely different." He said lightly.

"I think they're jungle buddies." Hurley said seriously.

"What?" Sawyer laughed. "Freckles and Doc? No chance."

"Why not?" Charlie questioned. "They're always together nowadays."

"What's the matter, Sawyer, jealous?" Hurley teased.

"Freckles is too damn stubborn, and the Doc hasn't got the guts to admit to anything emotional to do with good old Sweetcheeks." Sawyer explained. "They don't stand a chance."

No sooner had Sawyer spoken, Jack and Kate came out of the jungle together.

* * *

Jack found Kate alone at Shannon's grave. Shannon had been buried alongside Boone, and one of Sayid's necklaces, along with Shannon's favourite pink shirt, had been draped over the wooden cross. Kate appeared to be crying, or had been, judging from the tears that were still on her cheeks. Had he been the one to make her cry? He grimaced, and watched her for a few minutes, noticed how nervously she held herself, with her legs and arms drawn in tight. Eventually, he could stand it no longer.

"Kate?"

She jumped at the sound of his voice, and didn't answer, instead she went back to staring at the sea beyond Shannon's cross.

"Kate, we have to talk." Jack said, moving from standing behind her so that he could sit down next to her. She didn't move away, as he thought she might, but she didn't adknowledge his presense either. There was a haunted look in her eyes that had been there when she walked away from him.

"Kate, please, talk to me?" He asked her, but she stood up, and walked in the direction she had come from, in the direction of the caves. He wasn't going to let her get away from him this time, thought, and got up to follow her. They were only around the corner from the caved when she eventually stood still and spoke.

"No, Jack." She said, not turning to face him. "Don't. Just don't."

"Don't what?" He asked.

"Don't follow me. I have to be alone." She explained.

Jack couldn't see the logic in that. "Kate, you randomly kiss me, and then you run away from me, and then you want to be alone?" He came round infront of her, blocking her way on the path. She bowed her head, unable to meet his eyes. "I think that's what hurt most, Kate. That you ran."

"Jack, I-"

"Why did you run, Kate?" He asked her. "I know that running is what you do, but why run from me?"

She looked up at him. "Because I let myself go." She whispered. "I went too far, and I knew that if anything happened, it would be my fault."

"What, exactly, did you plan on happening?" He asked her.

"I don't know. But good things don't happen to the people I care about. I always hurt the people I love." As soon as she had said it she covered her mouth with her hands, and Jack realised why.

_The people I love._

_Love._

She loved him?

"I'm sorry," She said, watching the reaction on his face. "I didn't mean that, I meant..." She couldn't finish that sentence, she didn't know what she meant.

"Love?" He questioned, again, he didn't know what to say.

Again, she flipped out like she did before, right before she had kissed him. "Yes, Jack, love. Is that what you wanted to hear? Is that what you want me to admit? That I love you. Do you want me to tell you that I have loved you since I first saw you, since you trusted me? What do you want to know exactly?"

Stepping closer to her, he reached out, but she backed away again. "Don't." She warned, and walked backwards until she reached the clearing outside of the caves.

He wasn't far behind her, however, and he ignored the groups of people watching them. He ignored Sawyer, Charlie, Claire and Hurley. He didn't pay any attention to Sayid, nor to the other survivors who wached them so intently. He just walked right up to where Kate stood, and held her arm so that she couldn't run away from him this time.

Kate noticed that when he gripped onto her arm though, it wasn't threatening, it wasn't angry, it was pleading. He turned her around so that he could look into her eyes, and then he saw how fragile she was at that moment.

"Please don't make me do this." She asked him in a whisper.

"Do what, Kate?" He asked her just as quietly.

"Don't make me let you in. You'll only end up hurt...or dead...or whatever else is next on the list of whoever upstairs is screwing my life around."

He held her gaze, and saw her fall apart infront of him. Her past had caught up with her, and it was torturing her. She was at rock bottom, and needed someone to pull her back up. Looking at her sadly, he released her arm, and brought his hand up to her face, letting it rest softly against her cheek, wiping away the tears that followed onto her pale skin.

"I'm not going to make you do anything." He told her gently. "We can do this as slowly as you like, I'll help you, Kate. I promise."

"Why?" She asked him in a broken voice.

"Because I love you." He said, glad that he had finally told her how he felt.

"I love you too." She whispered, and this time, it was he who leaned into her, and his one had remained on her cheek while the other snaked around her waist pulling her against him as their lips finally met in their first real kiss.

In the makeshift hairdressing salon a few yards away, Hurley and Charlie gave Sawyer the 'I-told-you-so' look. "You were saying, Sawyer?" Charlie said with an air of entertainment to his teasing.

Sawyer just frowned irritably, and threw the new couple a dirty look before looking down at the ground at his feet. "Well, I'll be damned." He muttered. Inside, he was angry. Kate was his, he just needed to make them both realise that.


	2. Together

Sawyer got to his feet, and made excuses about feeling light-headed, and went back to the hatch. There he could fall asleep and forget about what he had seen. The idea of Kate being with Jack instead of him frustrated him, especially seeing as he had to try so damn hard to get Kate to relax and be herself around him, and all Jack had to do was be there. What did Jack have that he didn't? Well, besides a fancy doctoring certificate, lots of hard-earned money, and most likely a nice house in the suburbs with the white picket fence and a mini-van. None of that was of any use in the wild, and thats where they were. Sawyer, he was a survivor, and thats what Kate needed. Not someone to fix everything up, but someone who was practical, and had keen instincts. Someone like him.

Back at the hatch the next morning, the famous new couple had been on duty overnight with pressing the button. Kate needed a shower after the long day yesterday, and being up most of the night, but it wasn't the lack of sleep that effecter her, she was used to little rest, but the need for some shower creme or shampoo that wasn't the economy Dharma stuff, and had a nice smell to it. Something that could easily be found in Sawyer's supplies.

She left Jack to using the Dharma washing equipment, that to Kate smelled like something you'd find laying beside a septic tank. Sure, it got you clean, but it didn't make you feel clean. Since Sawyer had been brought back to camp by Eko, he had asked for all of his stuff to be brought up to the hatch so that he could be sure that no one was stealing anything. Kate had slipped a few things out for herself without him noticing, but had seen that there were a lot of women's toiletries in his stash for future use. She knew that Sawyer was too much of a man to be smelling like lavender.

She saw that he was still asleep, _the lazy brute_, she thought, and quietly lifted open the top of the suitcase that thankfully wasn't zipped up. She kept checking over her shoulder to see if her rumaging was waking him up, but he was probably snoring to loud to hear anything anyway. Kate grinned at the choice before her, lavender, strawberry, cherry, mint...She stopped on the mint and tee-tree shower gel, knowing that this would leave her feeling fresher as well as giving her a bit of a wake up call after her restless night. Shampoo-wise, she opted for the last remaining bottle of Herbal Essences lavender, even though it was Claire's favourite.

Behind her, Sawyer stirred, and she quickly raced out of the room, where she literally bumped into Jack, who was wearing only his pants with no shirt on. She blushed, and felt obliged to avert her eyes, even though the sight of his wet chest was too much of a pull on her eyes to look away from. He saw the toiletries on her hands and laughed, knowing exactly where they had come from.

"Getting in trouble a little early today, aren't we, Kate?" He teased, and she gave him a sly smile.

"You're only in trouble if you get caught." She pointed out, her first rule of thumb.

Jack was about to speak again, but it came out as a laugh instead, and then a shout from the room where Sawyer was diverted them both.

"Dammit, Freckles!" They heard him rumaging around, and Kate got a guilty expression on her face.

"Ok, now I'm in trouble." She admitted, having been caught. She stood on tiptoes, placed a quick kiss on Jack's cheek, and then ran around him, in the direction of the showers. Sawyer wouldn't _dare _to go after her in there, but when she got there, she locked the door just in case. After all, this was Sawyer.

A few seconds after Kate had disappeared out of the corridor, Sawyer appeared infront of Jack, his long hair ruffled and messy. He looked vengeful and the idea of that made Jack supress another laugh.

"Where is she?" Sawyer asked.

"Who?" Jack replied innocently, continuing to dry the back of his neck off with the towel he was holding.

"What'ya mean, 'who'?" Sawyer asked. "Freckles, Kate, Darling, whatever you call her these days, Doc. Where is she?"

Jack ignored the onstream of nicknames as well as the blatent dig at their relationship and shrugged. "I dunno, I've been in the shower." Sawyer gave him a look, and Jack returned it. "Hey, I'm not her keeper!" He protested. "Don't you two have a connection or something?" He teased, walking away, "You'll never find her."

Only Sawyer did find her, and he spent the next hour waiting outside of the showers waiting for Kate to emerge. When she did, fully dressed much to Sawyer's distaste, he could smell the mint on her from the stolen shower gel.

"Nice shower?" He asked her.

She smiled innocently. "Yes, thank you."

"You think you could get away with it that easily?" He asked her again, blocking her way.

She grinned devilishly. "Yes." She repeated. "Looks like I did." She observed.

"Not so fast, Sweetcheeks." Sawyer said as she began to walk away, and he held up a deck of cards.

"What are they?" Kate asked, only seeing a plan white packet in his hands with the Dharma logo on them.

"If you want that stuff, you've gotta play for it." He challenged her.

"It's too late." She told him. "I've already used it." She walked away again, and then Sawyer called after her.

"Tonight we're having a poker night." He told her. "Winner stays on, and winner takes all. One-on-one. You in?"

Kate stood for a moment, before turning to face Sawyer. "And if I win?" She asked.

"Then you keep the shampoo crap." He surrendered. "But if you lose, then you've gotta give me somethin', Freckles." He stepped closer to her, trying to secude her, and failing miserably.

It was a big gamble, and Kate suspected that if Jack knew about this arrangement with Sawyer, he wouldn't like it at all, but then again, she had never lost a game of poker in her life. "Ok, I'm in." She answered.

Kate found Jack ready to go back to camp when she had left Sawyer to his scheming. He noticed the frustrated expression on her face as she tied her damp hair into a braid over her shoulder, and knew what had happened right away.

"He found you?"

Kate nodded. "Yeah." Somehow, as much as she thought that Jack didn't need to know about her deal with Sawyer, she didn't want to lie to him about it. "We're having a poker match later." She said outstraight.

Jack looked at her like he had misheard her. "A what?"

"Poker. You know, card game, gambling with high stakes."

Jack sighed, and took her hand as they walked out of the hatch and into the humid jungle. "You're playing a game with high stakes...against Sawyer?" He checked.

"Yeah." She nodded, sure of herself and almost too confident for Jack's liking. After all, this was Sawyer, and his stakes with Kate would, indeed, be high. "Don't worry, he'll be playing to my stakes." She assured him.

"Your stakes?"

"I get whatever I want from his stash when I win." She said, making sure that her stakes were most definately different from Sawyer's.

"What makes you so sure you'll win?" He asked her playfully, their shoulders nudging together in the crisp dewy air.

"Jack, don't worry, I've been playing poker since I was nine years old." She said with a laugh, sensing his unease about gambling with Sawyer.

"So has he more than likely." Jack said a little grumpily.

"Yeah, I should think so." She agreed, and this did nothing for Jack's worries. He had only just got Kate, he didn't want to lose her to Sawyer already. Kate saw the look on his face, and smiled reassuringly, stopping their slow walk and facing him, kissing him softly, but deeply. "Don't worry." She assured him as they pulled away. "I've never lost a game before, and I don't intend to lose to Sawyer of all people."

Jack laughed, and they rested their foreheads together. "I just don't want you to owe him anything."

"Woah, deja-vu." Kate laughted. "I'm sure you've said that before."

He remembered when, after Ethan had been shot, Kate had said that she could get the final gun back from Sawyer by 'speaking his language'. He had replied that it wasn't worth it, becuase he didn't want her to owe him anything. He smiled. "Yeah, well, it's true." He said. "I don't want him having that hold over you. He's done it once."

"Jack, there's only one man I'm kissing from now on." She said with that special smile that was reserved just for him. "And that's you."

They kissed again, before they carried on walking back to camp. Jack started to look at the poker night in a more light-hearted manner. "I guess we do need something to lighten everyone up a bit." He mused.

"Can you play poker?" Kate asked him.

Jack scoffed. "Of course I can!" He said defensively.

"Good." She said, nudging him playfully. "Then you can enter too." She skipped ahead of him a bit, urging him to walk faster. "Come on, lets go see who else we can get into this."

Jack watched her, loving the playful nature she was revealing yet again. It was such a change from her behaviour yesterday, and so unpredictable that yesterday she was running to get away from him, and today she was walking hand in hand on a secluded path. Mind you, he wasn't complaining. He would give anything to have finally had this moment with Kate, where they both knew that they were together, finally, after two months of the same tiptoeing game they had played. Because all games had to have a winner and a loser. They were both winners in the end, so it must be logical that Sawyer was the loser. Kate tugged harder on his hand and he finally began to speed up to meet her demand.

They split up when they got to the caves, with Jack heading to look at a large graze on Scott's forehead from a falling branch, and Kate spreading the news about Sawyer's poker challenge. Before she could tell anyone, however, she was pulled aside by Claire and Sun. These two were the only females on the island that Kate was really close to. Sun had stuck by her all through when Sawyer had exposed her, and although Claire had been momentarily annoyed by Kate keeping that secret from them all, once she had remembered Kate's kind nature and all her help with Aaron's birth, she had forgotten all about her being a fugitive.

"So...what happened?" Claire asked excitedly, her eyes glittering.

"What do you mean, what happened?" Kate asked innocently.

"You both disappear after Shannon's funeral, and then you suddenly wander out of the jungle and kiss infront of nearly the whole camp!" Claire said, and she seemed unable to control herself.

"Yeah." Kate said a little unsure of what she was missing here.

"Are you together?" Sun asked, getting to the point more than Claire's excited chattering.

Kate wondered that herself. Was it official now? Were they really together? She thought back to yesterday and that morning. They had kissed, and their night in the hatch was of course lovely, but they didn't go any further than the kiss. She didn't want to go too far too soon and risk messing them up. At least, that was what she had told Jack. In truth, she was scared because of her past, but she wasn't ready to tell him that yet, and he hadn't asked. But he still showed her no less respect, and they had said the 'L' word that now had more than a thousand meanings to her.

Nodding slowly, and looking over Sun's shoulder at Jack, who was tending carefully to Scott's forehead. "Yeah...yeah, I think we are." She said, more to herself than the others.

Claire and Sun exchanged knowing glances, and then Claire launched herself on Kate, hugging her. "Congratulations!" She squealed.

Congratulations? Was it really that big a deal?

"Um...thanks, Claire." Kate managed to choke out.

"It is good that you're together." Sun agreed. "It was only a matter of time before you realised."

"Before we realised what?" Kate asked, curious as to what everyone else was seeing in their relationship.

"That you're practically made for each other!" Claire explained.

"We are?" Kate laughed, but she didn't get an answer, only that look. The 'we-knew-before-you-did-so-don't-question-us' look. She sighed, shaking her head. "Whatever you say." She brushed off. "Anyway, to the real matter of hand, can either of you play poker?"

Both of them looked blankly at Kate for a few seconds, and Kate wondered if time had stood still, but eventually, Claire gave a sign of life and blinked. "Um...poker?"

"Yeah, poker." Kate repeated. "Sawyer's idea. Not mine. He's holding an Island poker tornament tonight at the hatch, and he thinks that he's going to win."

"You mean he's not going to?" Claire asked. "He played Charlie the other day, and I've never seen anyone play so well." She said, almost with awe.

"Of course he's not." Kate said confidently. "I've never lost a game."

"He's going down!" Claire agreed.

"So, can either of you play?" Kate asked again.

"I used to play with my Dad." Claire said, "But that was years ago, so I might be a bit rusty."

"Excellent. Sun?"

"I have no idea, but I know that Jin has played before." She said, "I'll go ask him."

Sun disappeared off towards hers and Jin's shelter, and Kate returned her gaze to Jack, who felt her eyes upon him and turned to look at her. They shared a smile, which didn't escape Claire's notice.

"Yeah, you're both whipped." She said helplessly.

"Shut up." Kate said teasingly. "Let's not bring Charlie into this." She warned.

"Charlie...OH GOD!" She suddenly cried out, causing several people to look over at her while she clapped her hand over her mouth. "He was watching Aaron while I washed my hair, and that was three hours ago!" She explained, deeply apologetic.

"Don't worry, Claire. We're coping." Came the British sarcasm from Charlie who came up beside Kate.

"Sorry, Charlie." Claire said.

"It's Ok. We had a very intelligent conversation." Charlie said proudly.

"You had an intelligent conversation with a baby?" Kate asked.

"Yes, well, he listened to me. Well, I think he was listening. Anyway, thats not the point. The point is, that Mommy's baby isn't grumpy, isn't smelly, isn't crying, isn't hungry, and I didn't binge help off of anyone." He finished proudly, handing Aaron over to Claire, who smiled and cooed at the baby.

"Hey, sweetie. Who's been a good boy?" She said softly to the baby, who giggled and reached out for her as he always did. Looking on, Kate wondered how Claire had even considered giving her baby up, especially now that she was such a wonderful mother and loved her son so much. Kate always felt a little sad when she saw how Claire had the brilliant relationship with her baby, something that fate had never given her the chance to experience. "Oh, Charlie." Claire said suddenly. "There's a poker tornament tonight."

"No thank you." Charlie said quickly. "I don't want to lose my dinner again to Sawyer."

"Don't worry." Kate said. "No one's losing anything to Sawyer tonight."

"You mean there's someone on this goddamn island that can actually beat Sawyer?" He laughed, thinking that it was impossible.

"Kate can." Claire said simply.

Charlie looked at her incredulously for a moment. "Count me in. Anything to see Sawyer losing, and to a woman as well."

Kate grinned, this evening was going to be fantastic.


	3. Sweet Dreams

The evening went off with a bang. Firstly, Sawyer surprised everyone by declaring it was too hot in the hatch with all these people crammed in, and had removed his shirt, throwing it across the room and winking at Kate, who just looked at him in disgust. She knew that he was tempting her, trying to get her to stray. She was sitting with Jack against one of the far walls, away from the others. She was playing last, so that she could deliberately play in the final, more than likely against Sawyer. So instead, she was waiting patiently, passing the time by talking with Jack.

"God, why doesn't he just give up already." She muttered bitterly as Sawyer tried to show off his exposed chest again to her. She turned away and looked at Jack, who was giving Sawyer the same disgusted look.

"He just can't accept that you're sitting here with me and not him." Jack said, bringing his eyes round to meet Kate's.

"No, Jack. He can't accept that I'm in love with you and not him." She corrected, and Jack smiled. The arm which hung around her shoulders pulled her closer, and she leaned in to kiss him, only their lips were broken apart by Claire shouting out from the poker table.

"I've won!"

They broke apart reluctantly, but still happy that they had shared a kiss. They knew that privacy would have been low tonight, and Kate had diminished all expectations of having a private moment with Jack when she saw that about thirty people were crammed into the same room.

"Who'd have guessed?" Jack laughed, as Kate moved so she was half-sitting and half-laying against his shoulder. "Claire, the secret card shark?"

"Never underestimate The Claire." Came a voice from beside them, and they looked up to see Charlie, who was speaking in a deep warning voice. "I did once with the hairdressing, and I nearly lost an ear and an eye." He said, before wandering off again. Jack wondered why he nearly lost an eye if she was cutting his hair, while Kate merely laughed. Charlie was right, they shouldn't underestimate Claire - she was more capable than people gave her credit for. After all, she was the one raising the baby.

"It's nice to see Claire and Charlie relaxed." Kate said softly. "Normally they're both so worried and stressed because of Aaron." Sun was back at camp looking after baby Aaron for the evening so that Claire could enjoy herself without worrying. Sun was probably the best person to leave a baby with as well, as she had the secret mothering ability, yet had never had a child of her own.

"It's nice to see you relaxed as well." Jack said, leaning his head ontop of Kate's and she smiled.

"I am relaxed." She said in defence, but it didn't work that well because it was Jack, and he always managed to get under her skin.

"You are now." He pointed out.

"That's because you're here." She said quietly, not wanting any one to hear their gentle conversations.

"I was here with you before." Jack told her, pulling a lock of hair back that fell as she had spoken.

"Yeah, but we never got to relax, you know, with each other before." She explained, and their hands entwined over their laps.

They stayed in that position for a long time, at least three hours before Kate's eyelids started drooping. She forced herself to stay awake, knowing that she needed to be fully alert to beat Sawyer. The card night had been a success in raising the morale on the island. Charlie had beaten Locke, only to be beaten by Sayid, who was beaten by Claire. Claire had managed to beat Hurley and Steve, but then she was knocked off her run by Jin, who was finally beaten by Sawyer. Sawyer had since played six other survivors and not lost. Finally, Claire called her over, just when her eyelids had dropped.

"Kate! Come and get Sawyer off the top!" She shouted, but then saw the scene of Kate and Jack sitting together, relaxing, peaceful, and Kate's eyelids shut. "Oh, she's asleep!" She doubled back.

"No, I'm not." Kate called back, without opening her eyes. "I'm just comfortable." She laughed, finally opening her eyes and sitting up fully, stretching her arms before she stood up. She instantly felt the cold around her now that she was out of Jack's arms, but instead she pulled her shirt closer around her, and felt the warmth return, when, unseen to the others, Jack's hand rested on the small of her back.

Charlie had taken up his role as a commentator to the other survivors not standing around the table, and who were sitting instead around the room, and starting applauding when Kate approached the table and sat down. Charlie started his commentary. "And here she is ladies and gentlemen of Craphole Island, our potential saviour. The only one left who has a chance of knocking Sawyer off the top spot of tonight's game. The one. The only. Miss Kate Austen!" Kate sat down opposite a smarmy Sawyer.

"Party time, Freckles." He teased.

Charlie ignored Sawyer and continued. "That's right people. She not only beats our dear own doctor at golf," Jack grimaced at the memory, and Kate beamed proudly in his direction. "but she has never, and I repeat, never lost a game of poker in her life."

People 'oooooed' at this comment, and Kate saw a flash of fear in Sawyer's eyes at that. Obviously he was regretting making the bet. Jack was standing just behind her, she could almost sense him standing there, watching her.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the hatch, place your bets now."

People scrambled around for a moment, making deals, and then Charlie announced that the game was to begin. The cards were dealed, and Sawyer looked at his hand with a smarmy smile. Kate, on the other hand, held a blank expression, and revealed nothing whatsoever.

"Scared, Freckles?" Sawyer teased.

"You wish." She said back with a determined smirk.

Sawyer teased her constantly through the whole game, trying to get her to snap, and to reveal something like he had done with the others, but she was a master at putting up with Sawyer, and revealed nothing, despite his best attempts to reach a sensitive spot. Kate suddenly looked a bit worried, and Sawyer seized this opportunity to get ahead of her, his next insult ready and waiting, but instead, she smiled.

"I'll tell you what, Sawyer. Let's raise the stakes a little bit more." She suggested.

Raise the stakes? She was already giving him whatever she wanted if she lost. "Sounds wonderful to me, Sweetcheeks." Sawyer said. "What did you have in mind?"

"After the game, loser jumps into the sea from the high rocks." She said.

Sawyer laughed. That was nothing. "Excellent." He said.

"Butt naked." She added, and people began to chatter around them again. Particularly the group of young women who now desperately wanted Kate to win.

Instead, Sawyer just smirked. "You've got yourself a deal." He said, and then leaned back in his chair. "Start unzipping, Freckles." He said, laying down his cards for all to see. "Straight, in diamonds." He said proudly.

A few people groaned, and started to get ready to hand over their end of the bargains they had made. Although Sawyer hadn't been big on it, Kate had kept her cards hidden from everyone except for Jack, who was standing in the only place where he could see where she was hiding them in her hands.

"You're good, James." She said, teasing him by calling him by his real name, which always brought a frown. "But, just not good enough." She said.

By now, everyone had crowded around, a few behind Sawyer, supporting him, but the rest behind Kate, all cheering her on. Smiling proudly, Kate lay down her cards, one by one.

Ten.

Jack.

Queen.

King.

Ace.

In Spades.

The entirety of the hatch exploded in cheers, recieving money and cleaning supplies from the gruding people around Sawyer. Charlie started on his commentary once again, pushing his way through the cheering people and lifting Kate's arm into the air.

"There you have it, ladies and gentlemen, the winner of our first island poker tornament is Kate!" People applauded again, and then Charlie turned to Sawyer. "Now, Sawyer, about that swim..."

Most people lunged for Sawyer, who tried to move out of the way, and then failed. To Kate's delight, they carted him out of the hatch and down towards the beach, saying that if he was well enough to be smarmy he was well enough to take a swim.

Jack came up behind Kate, who hadn't moved from behind her chair a moment ago. He wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her neck. "You're not going with them?" He asked her.

"No, I think I'll stay." She said with a soft yawn.

"That's not like you." Jack commented with a gentle laugh. "Normally you're the first person to want to see Sawyer be humiliated like that...and it was your idea."

"I know, but it's late, and I was comfortable earlier, and I'm still tired." She explained. "I'd rather stay here with you." She turned round an embraced him fully now that the others had left, and the sound of their taunts were diminished by the door shutting with a bang. They had already volunteered to be around the hatch that night for the button, but secretly it was because they wanted to spend time with each other without the rest of the survivors. Locke was coming to relieve them at 3am, so it wasn't all night anyway.

"I'd rather you stay with me as well." Jack murmered, but it wasn't protective, he just wanted to be with her.

"I'm not going anywhere tonight." She said with a soft smile, and rested her head against his shoulder. It was warm and comfortable there, and reminded her of soft pillows that you could sink into and sleep forever...

"Kate?"

"Mmm?" She sounded back.

"You're falling asleep, aren't you?" He observed with a gently laugh.

She tried to laugh, or answer back, but it just came out in a content moan of comfort. Again, the alarm sounded, and neither of them made any move this time. They still had three minutes, and it was only across the hall. Eventually, the blaring reached Kate's tired ears as well.

"Jack...turn the alarm clock off. It's too early to get up yet." She muttered, half-asleep.

Jack had to smile at that. "Come on." He encouraged, but she didn't move.

"No, too comfy." She protested.

"Kate, we need to do it." He told her.

"No we don't." She argued.

"Tell that to Locke." Jack laughed.

"Jaaaaack, please?" She sighed, but Jack shook his head.

When he realised that a minute had passed and they still hadn't moved, he made a quick decision, and bent down a little. He moved his arms and wrapped one around her shoulder, and another beneath her knees, and lifted her up into his arms. She seemed to fit perfectly against him. He headed into the direction of the computer, and lay her down on the couch, before going over to put the numbers in. He pressed execute with a minute to spare, and watched the timer flip back to 108:00.

He sighed, as he always did after pressing execute, and then turned back to where he had laid Kate down. Her eyes were closed, and she was lying on her side. One hand was pressed against her cheek, and the other on the material before her. She looked so peaceful, so comfortable, that Jack didn't mind spending the evening up on his own for once. Usually when he was up at the caves unable to sleep he would hope that she was on the beach, thinking the same, and that she would come up to see him. Sometimes, the temptation had been too much, and he had walked down to the beach, and peeked into her shelter, only to find her lying peacefully asleep, oblivious to his presense. For a few minutes he would stay, enjoying seeing her without creases of worry on her forehead, and then he would return to the caves, where he could finally fall asleep.

"I am awake you know." She murmered. He laughed, having been caught out for watching her. "I hate people watching me sleep." She said with a gentle laugh.

"Ah, but you said that you weren't asleep." Jack pointed out, delicately pulling her hair away and tucking it behind her ear. "So I'm free to watch all I want."

"Jack..." She said with a sigh, now barely awake.

"Yeah, Kate?" He asked back in a whisper, his hand lingering on her cheek.

"...mmm...Love you..." She said, as she began to fall asleep. Her breaths began deeper, and more even. Jack smiled, and placed a kiss on her forehead, earning a gentle smile in return,

"I love you too." He replied in a whisper. "Sleep well."

He settled on the couch beside her, although watching Kate sleep seemed to pass the time way to quickly. Soon enough, the timer was going off again, and he was determined to shut it off quickly before the sound was loud enough to wake Kate up.

"I'll get it!" Someone called, and Charlie and Hurley came running into the room, falling over each other to get to the button. Jack sat stunned, he hadn't even known that anyone else was in the hatch. The pair put the numbers in and pressed execute before turning around and seeing Jack. "Oh. Hi Jack." Charlie said.

"Dude, you look tired." Hurley observed.

"I am tired." He told them simply, leaning to lay back down on the space of couch behind Kate. In the past hour she had moved so close to the edge that Jack had taken advantage of the space behind her and lay there himself. The feel of the couch was welcoming, as was the warmth of Kate's body.

"Why don't you go so sleep then?" Hurley asked, watching as Jack wrapped his arm tightly around Kate's waist.

"Because I had to do the button, and Kate was already asleep." He complained. "If I'd known you were here I would have fallen asleep two hours ago."

"We didn't know you were here." Charlie said. "Well, anyway, we're here until morning, so you guys can go sleep in a bed rather than on the couch."

Jack had forgotten about the bed Sawyer used. Seeing as Sawyer had gone back to camp that night, as well as going for his swim, then that meant there was the free bunk in the hatch. Kate was already asleep, so she wouldn't be walking back to camp anyway. Jack slowly sat up. "Good idea."

He lifted Kate into his arms, but she started to wake up as he moved her. She curled against him.

"Where are we going?" She asked sleepily.

"To bed." He told her, kissing her forehead and ignoring the coos from Charlie and Hurley.

"But we don't have a bed." She whispered disappointedly, bringing her arms around Jack's neck and securing them.

"We do tonight." He whispered back, leaving the others to their plotting and walking down the corridor with Jack.

"Jack." She whispered. "I really love you." She muttered.

"I really love you too."

"I mean, really really. Loads." Her eyes were only half open.

"I love you more than I can tell you." He told her, making his way over to the empty bed and laying her down on it.

As soon as her head touched the pillow, she let out a comfortable sigh, having been the first time she had laid down in a real bed for so long now. Jack lay behind her, and although it was only a single bed, they fit together perfectly with Jack's arms holding her against him. He pulled the blanket over them both, and watched with sleepy wonder how Kate curled the blanked over at the corner with it balled in one fist, while the other entwined with his hand.

"Goodnight, Kate." He said, pressing a kiss to the side of her cheek as he too fell into a deep, undisturbed sleep.


	4. The Past Revealed

_She was dancing better than she had ever danced ballet before. No one knew that she danced, no one except her family. Not even Tom or Beth knew. Somehow, she felt ashamed to tell Tom, who wanted to be a doctor, and Beth, who wanted to be a teacher, that all she, Kate Austen, could do without messing things up, was dance. This was her big chance, finally, to get into a scholarship programme at a New York Dancing School. She was thirteen years old._

_The boy she was dancing with, Harry Reynolds, was taller than most other boys she had danced with before, but then again, he was sixteen already. She had only been introduced to him ten minuts before they were due on stage, enough time to go over the routine. He was already with the school, that his aunt owned, and she knew that if she impressed him and kept up her timing, that she actually stood a chance of getting in. His skin was much fairer than hers, being a city boy in comparison to a young country girl, and his jet black hair only made him appear paler._

_She had danced out onto the stage, the biggest she had ever seen, fearful at first, and made sure she did all the right things for dancing the Sleeping Beauty in her azure blue outfit. She was meant to be wearing pink for that part, but she never wore pink, not even for ballet. The entrachets...the arm flutters...the pirouettes. She kept her eyes open all the time, something she was usually bad at doing, and kept her eyes trained on the audience that consisted of three examiners, and the parents of the applicants, including her mother Diane, her brothers, Luke and Matt, and father, Sam. She was glad that Sam had come instead of Wayne...She hated him._

_Suddenly, with his eyes, Harry signalled for her to run, and then leap into his recieving arms. She was almost enchanted to see him there, a professional, and she was halfway to him when a terrible pain seized her abdomen. _

_She doubled over, crying out with extreme pain. Looking down, she was horrified to see that she ws standing in a pool of blood, streaming down her legs, and staining the leotards that her mother had scraped and saved to by especially for that audition - ruined._

_She slipped to the floor, and grew so weak that she could only lie there and listen to the screams, Not her screams anymore, but those of five year old Matt, her dear little brother. From a distance, she could hear her father's voice, and her mothers. She closed her eyes, not caring who it was who came to pick her up. Sam said something about not being afraid, but then the darkness came and took her back to the place far, far away where nobody ever wanted her._

_She emerged from her sleep to see her mother sitting on the hospital bed, holding her limp hand. "Hi." She said softly, squeezing her fingers. "About time you woke up, Katherine." She said with a gently smile. "I'll tell you this, you sure know how to end a dance dramatically." _

_"I guess I better go into acting instead." Kate managed to speak out, even though her voice felt hoarse._

_"I guess, althought I doubt you will."_

_Kate felt a scared expression form over her face. She saw it reflected in her mother's eyes. "What happened, Mom?" She asked, and Diane, helped her to sit up so that they could embrace. Only once she held her daughter in her arms did she speak._

_"Life offers more than one chance, Katherine, you know that. You needed a D&C, You'll be fine and on your feet by tomorrow." _

_"What's a D&C?" She asked with a sniff._

_At that a doctor walked in, and began explaining. "It's a procedure in which a woman is dilated, and an instrument called a curette is used to scrape waste material from the lining of the uterus. It's usually caused by missed periouds clotting and then breaking free." He told her._

_"That's all, Katherine. That's all." Her mother insisted._

_Kate lay back on the pillows, not knowing what to think. Of all the times for something like that to happen - in front of everyone she was trying to impress. She sighed, still not understanding what was going on, but if there was one thing she was good at, it was reading people, and she knew that both her mother, and the doctor were hiding something from her._

Kate bolted awake, straight into Jack's recieving arms. He had his hands on her shoulders, immediatly trying to calm her. She was trembling so badly that the tremors were passing onto his own skin. The shorter fringe part of her hair was clining to her forehead, and she raised her eyes to meet his. The concern heightened in his eyes when he finally saw her face. Her eyes played resident to a deeply haunted look, that had intensified from it's usual occurance when she thought about her past. Her whole face was pale, especially for someone who was always out in the sun on this island. It wasn't lack of sunlight, however, that had whitewashed her face. It was fear.

He cupped her cheek, while her breaths came uneven and ragged like she had been running and was desperate for breath. She had only just realised that he had been speaking her name, asking her if she was Ok. "Jack..." She muttered weakly, throwing her arms around his neck, clinging to him so tightly like she was afraid that he would slip away.

"It's Ok. I'm here." He whispered, as she started to cry. He held her close whilst she let out her tears. It had pained him to watch her suffer in her sleep when he was unable to wake her, and now she was awake, to still be suffering. She had cried out in her sleep, that was what had woken him, and he had tried for ten minutes to rouse before she had done so herself.

"I'm sorry." She whispered through her sobs as she pulled away from him. Her eyes avoided his and she looked down into the small space between them.

"Kate...what's wrong." He asked her, as she dragged her eyes from his. "Why did you scream?"

She hadn't realised that she had screamed aloud. She had thought she imagined it, yet at the same time, wished that he, of all people, hadn't heard it.

"It was...just a nightmare." She tried to explain, tucking back her hair and recomposing herself.

"Must have been a bad one." He said, trying to find out more without prying too much.

She nodded weakly. "Yeah, you could say that." She said so softly that he barely heard it. It was the same dream she always had. She never had to remember it, because every detail would return vividly when she lay down to sleep.

She never had found out what was going on. There had never been another mention of it. That had been the last day she had ever danced, and never did she return to an audition, or even wear her leotards. She was too ashamed that something no one would explain to her, that she had no control over, had interfered with her dream. Even though her mother had insisted she keep it up, she refused.

"Kate?"

Jack's voice came through to her again, startling her out of her thoughts.

"Sorry." She sad, shaking herself.

"Come on, Kate." He said, stroking her cheek gently. "What's wrong, tell me."

She locked eyes with him, and managed a soft smile, but it didn't convince him. It had never dawned on her before. Jack was a doctor - could he possibly know what they had all been keeping from her?

"Jack..." She started, unsure of how to ask him. "You're a spinal surgeon, right?"

He nodded. "Only after trying everything else." He told her.

"So...you'd know about every kind of procedure?"

He frowned a little at her. "Is something wrong?" He asked worriedly, scared that she was hurt or sick.

She didn't nod, or shake her head, but she did the worst possible thing. She lied.

"My...sister. The last time I heard from her, she had a D&C." She didn't even have a sister. "What is is, what is a D&C?" She asked, hoping that he hadn't caught the desperation in her voice.

Jack gazed at her for a few seconds, knowing that something definately wasn't right.

"Please..." She whispered.

"It's a kind of evacuation performed in a recently pregnant woman. After, or sometimes during, a miscarriage, an evacuation is needed to remove any tissue from the pregnancy remaining in the womb."

Kate gulped, unable to swallow the information. "What does it involve?" She asked in a choken voice that didn't escape Jack's notice.

"Just some suction. But if your sister miscarried early in the pregnancy, a D&C wouldn't be necessary, so I'd estimate that she would have been around two and a half, maybe three months pregnany in the least."

His words echoed in her ears, and she finally understood what had happened all those years ago. All those years of her Wayne coming into her room at night, touching her, raping her, had taken their effect. She had been pregnany, and she had miscarried during her ballet performance. She was thirteen years old, and had been pregnany for a short while. She could have been a mother, and if she hadn't auditioned at the last minute for that New York school, she might not have miscarried at all. She was twenty-seven years old now. Her baby would have been forteen, older than the age she was pregnant at. It would have been the age she would have given birth. Even worse was that Wayne had turned out to be her real father - that the child would be her half-sibling as well as her own baby. How traumatic, to give birth to ones brother or sister at the age of fourteen?

Softly, she drew her knees up to her chest, hugging them tight to her with the blanket from the bed wrapped through her legs still, and she rested her forehead on her arms. She took a deep shaky breath for a few minutes before she actually let herself cry. Sob after sob came, and after only a few seconds, she felt arms embrace her, and them she wasn't crying against herself, but holding onto someone, and that someone, of course, was Jack. She held onto him, not fighting the tears as he rubbed her back, and held her head to his shoulder softly, stroking her hair with such a gentle touch that she almost feared she were imagining it. He whispered words of comfort to her, and although it seemed like a second to her, when she eventually stopped crying and pulled away from him, the sun was starting to shine through the window.

"Sorry." She apologized again, with a broken voice while she wiped her eyes on her shirt sleeve.

"It's Ok." He assured her, as before, and it was evident that neither had intention of moving from each others arms. He watched her for a moment, and recognised the look in her eye, one he had seen many times before, being a doctor. Then he asked the question he knew she was fearful of answering. "It wasn't your sister, was it?" He realised, knowing the answer.

There was no yes or no answer to this. If he was going to know, he needed to know it all. "I was thirteen years old." She told him, staring at the corner of the bed, but not actually seeing it. "For six years, my father, Wayne, had been coming into my room at night when my mother was out. I had still thought he was my step father the, and that Sam was my real dad. I begged for Sam to be my father when I fond out that he wasn't, and he tried over and over to take me away from them and go live with him, but he couldn't because he was in the army. I was only good at one thing, and that was dancing, ballet." One on the hardest parts was over, and she took a deep breath.

"It's alright," Jack whispered. "Take all the time you need." She could see the look of disgust at what had happened to her in his eyes, but it was shadowed over by the urge to help her.

"I got a chance to audition for a scholarship at a dancing school in New York. Mom and Sam took me out there, and my brothers, Luke and Matt, they came too. I practiced for weeks, and by then I was so exhaused, and so nervous, that I didn't even realise tat my period was late, and had skipped two months. Mom didn't know what Wayne was doing to me, and said that I wasn't eating right, and that's why I kept getting sick all the time. I didn't know any different. When it came down to my performance at the audition, I was dancing better than I had ever danced before. And then it happened...my stomach hurt so much, and there was blood running down my legs. People were screaming, but I couldn't do anything. It hurt so much, Jack." She added, as more tears flowed over her flushed cheeks.

The hand that hadn't been stroking her hair picked hers up, and his thumb caressed the inside of her hand, calming her a little.

"I woke up in hospital." She continued. "They told me that my missed periods had clotted and then broken free, and that I needed a D&C. They told me that I would be fine by the morning. But I wasn't inside. I never danced again, and I could see just by looking at them that they were hiding something from me." She let out a choked sob. "I just never knew that it would be my dead baby."

Jack didn't know what to think. He knew that something was deeply troubling Kate from her past, and he realised that he might just now know the foundations that lef to her being on the run. He ran the details over in his mind, and they angered him so much, that if this Wayne person had walked past them right now, he would be dead in a second by Jack's hands. Kate's father, her real father, had raped her, gotten her pregnant at thirteen, and when she had miscarried, everyone had lied to her and never told her what had happened. He was disgusted for her.

When he noticed her shoulders heaving again, he leaned over so that he was close to her ear, and spoke softly. "I'm so sorry, Kate." He said, his voice almost breaking with emotion as well. He was just as close to tears. "I'm sorry that you had to go through that alone. I wish there was something, anything, I could do to...to take the pain away."

He noticed that her eyes were tghtly shut, and she let out a mix between a sad laugh and a sob. "For all that Wayne's done to me, because of that _stupid _D&C, I'll probably never be a real Mom now." She pointed out. When she had been married for a short while, she had found it almost impossible to conceive when she wanted to, even though she hadn't slept with her husband by choice, it was because he had used force, and when she had gone to the doctor about it, he suspected that she had an abortion, even when she insisted that she hadn't. "I'll never get to have a baby with the man I love, because my bloody _father _was so selfish!" She spat out her last comment. "I won't be a Mom because of him."

Jack realised just how important being a mother was to Kate, and it wasn't something that he would have expected. Then again, he had no expectations with Kate, becuase whatever he expected her to do, she always did the opposite.

A lock of hair fell infront of her eyes, and Jack's fingers were immediately there to place it back behind her ear, his hand lingering on her cheek for a few minutes. "Kate, tell me what I can do to help you." He urged gently. "I want to help you, but you'll have to tell me what I can do."

"Just...just don't hate me for what happened." She said painfully. "Everyone hated me because I told them what he did, and they didn't believe me...said I watched too much television. I hated how they looked at me. I don't think I could take it if you looked at me the same way."

He had never seen her this vunerable before, and it scared him. Finally she opened her eyes and raised them to meet his. He cupped her cheek so that she was forced to hold his gaze when he spoke to her. The pain in her eyes was unbearable for him, especially when he knew that nothing he did could change what had happened to her.

"How could I ever hate you?" He said with a smile. "You're the one person here that I could never hate, no matter what he did to you. That was his fault, not yours, and you shouldn't feel the blame for it."

"But they didn't believe me! They told me that I was lying, that I was telling tales to get attention-" She started, but Jack cut her off with three words that silenced her momentarily.

"I believe you." He said determinedly.

She stared at him, dumbfounded for a moment. "What?" She whispered, unsure she had heard him right.

"I believe you, Kate." He repeated, with no faltering. "I believe you."

She smiled, and threw her arms around his neck, silent tears falling but unnacompanied by the painful racking of sobs as she held herself against him. "Thank you." She said against his shoulder. "Thank you." No one had ever believed her, until now.

"I'd never hate you." He reminded her. "I love you too much."

Then, slowly, she leaned back, releasing him from her hold, and stared into those big brown sincere eyes. She could read people by their eyes, and as always, he wasn't lying to her. He really loved her, just like he said he did. For a second, she did nothing, not even return the comment as she usually did. Her hands were still on his shoulders, just inches apart. She smiled deeply, and that smile was all Jack needed for reassurance. She never gave anyone that smile except for him. It was the one that she reserved for all his doubts, and with that small curve, they disappeared.

Jack grinned, and closed the gap between them. Their lips met in a gentle touch that slowly progressed. It wasnt rushed, or filled with helplessness as their first kiss had been, and neither of them needed to wait for the shock to set in. It was simply perfect. Nothing was there to interrupt them, nothing to scare them, or to drive them away from each other. Jack was needed, but not in the caves, or on the beach, but no where other than the arms of the woman he loved. Even with closed eyes, he could see her before him. It couldn't have been more magical.

Kate let Jack have the control, happy to take the back seat when it came to him, if it meant that Jack was in domination of their kiss. Her arms were entwined around his neck still, and his hand was resting upon the small of her back, caressing the bare skin exposed underneath her t-shirt, and another hand was caught up in her hair. If it were up to them, it never would have ended, but they knew that with the rising sun, the others would soon walk in on them.

Speak of the devil...

"Holy crap!"

...and he shall appear.

They broke apart quickly, but with some reluctance, to see Charlie standing in the doorway.

"Morning, Charlie." Kate said softly.

"Morning, Jack, Kate." He nodded embarrased. "Sorry to just walk in here, I, uh, that is to say that Hurley, um, just wanted, uh, a drink."

Too see Charlie so embarrassed and stumbling over his words brought an amused smile to the previously upset Kate. That was part about what she liked about the island. When you were upset around 40 other people, then there was always something happening to lift your spirits. However, with the dangers in the jungle, there was equal critisism. Whenever good things happened, bad things were sure to follow.


	5. Make Me Happy

Jack and Kate were walking to the caves after leaving the hatch for breakfast. Charlie and Hurley were staying at the hatch for the button until two of the other survivors turned up, which gave them the opportunity to walk alone. Kate had slipped her arm through Jack's, and they set a slow pace, giving them all the time to themselves before they were back at camp. They were silent for a while, listening intently to the sounds of the early morning jungle, before Jack broke the silence.

"Kate.." He began, and she turned her head a little.

"Yeah?"

"About what you said earlier..." He continued, trailing off a little at the end.

Having told Jack about her past, she was always worried about the awkward conversation that would come after everything had been revealed, so she jumped in quickly. "Oh...Jack, listen-"

"Don't worry, it's nothing bad." He cut her off with a smile, squeezing her arm reassuringly

"Ok." She nodded, notioning for him to continue.

"Well, I know that you're upset about...about being a Mom." He pointed out.

"I guess so, yeah." She nodded again, now facing to the path ahead, but not really focusing on it.

"And I know that you want to move slowly with us, and I understand that, because I don't want anything to come between us. But I want you to know that just because of what Wayne did to you, that doesn't mean that you can't have a family." He said gently.

Kate whipped her head back around to look at him.

"Really?" She asked. "You're not just saying that to make me feel better?" In her eyes, Jack could see hope, but it was almost as if she wasn't letting herself get these hopes up, and was trying to cover them up, yet the emotion in her voice gave her away too much. Besides, with Kate, Jack always knew.

"I wouldn't lie to you, Kate." He said surely.

"So when the time comes...I could still...have a baby?" She asked, getting tripped over her words and unsure of how to ask.

"If you want it, then I will make it happen by any means." Jack promised her, they stopped walking and stood facing each other.

"Thank you, Jack." Kate said softly, so quietly that unless their faces were only inches apart, he wouldn't have heard her at all.

"Your welcome. I just want you to be happy."

Kate smiled. "You always know how to make me happy, you don't even have to try." She assured him, and leaned on her tiptoes to kiss him.

The rest of their walk to camp was silence, but not uncomfortable this time. As soon as they stepped into camp, they were bombared by Locke, who came running over when he saw Jack.

"Jack!"

"What is it?" Jack asked.

"It's Sayid." Locke said. "He's hurt."

Sayid came up beside Locke with a sigh, and a matching look of irritance on his face. "I'm fine." He insisted. "Just like I've been telling you all morning."

"I think we should let the doctor be the judge of that, don't you?" Locke suggested to Sayid.

Sometimes, Kate thought, the disputes between the survivors were strangely childlike.

"What's the matter?" Jack asked Sayid, getting back into the doctor mode that had been unused over the past few hours when he had been with Kate.

"I've just grazed my arm." He explained.

Jack nodded. "Let's see..." Sayid showed him his arm, and Jack's eyes widened. "Graze? Sayid, this looks pretty deep."

"It's nothing." Sayid insisted again

"It's not going to need stitches, but we'd better get it covered before it gets infected." Jack continued, not paying attention to Sayids insistance that he was fine.

Sayid glared at Locke, and then sighed. "Alright." He surrendered.

Kate saw that she was unneeded here, and put a hand on Jack's shoulder. "I'm going to get some water." She told him.

He nodded, giving her that loving look. "Ok, I'll come find you after I've done this." He said to her, and she returned his gaze, wandering over to the small waterfall where they got their water from.

Jack and Sayid went into the cave where Jack's medical supplies were kept. "Sit down." Jack instructed, notioning towards the folded out airplane seat. "So, how did you do it?" Jack asked curiously, as he got together the peroxide and bandages.

"Walking in the jungle." Sayid said.

Jack looked up and raised an eyebrow. "Looks like a dangerous walk. What happened out there?"

"I was following Vincent, I wasn't looking where I was going."

Since Shannon's death, the care of Vincent seemed to be passed to Sayid naturally, even though Michael was now back at camp. Michael was normally too depressed about Walt being taken to take the dog for a walk, or keep him occupied. So Sayid was now always seen with the dog padding at his side, and looking over Sayid's shoulder, Jack could see that Vincent was now trying to get attention from Michael yet again, who vaugely stroked him.

"He still running off then?" Jack presumed.

Sayid nodded. "He was barking loudly this morning, but he took off when people started to wake up. I went after him."

Jack nodded in Vincent and Michael's direction. "You found him I see."

"Yes...right before I saw Walt." Sayid nodded firmly.

"Walt?" Jack said, crouching before Sayid and applying the peroxide. Surprisingly, Sayid didn't even wince. "Sayid..."

"I saw him, Jack."

Jack was never sure on when people were saying they had seen Walt. "We still don't know what happened to him." Jack countered.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that you might not be seeing him for sure." Jack explained.

Sayid was silent for a moment, starting determindly at Jack. "I am not imagining things, Jack."

"Do you really think that if Walt can see us..."

Sayid cut him off. "Shannon saw him, and that's what got her killed. I believe her."

Jack continued along his original thought. "Then why hasn't he come back to camp?"

"Maybe he can't." Sayid said.

"What do you suggest we do?" Jack asked, wrapping up Sayid's arm with the bandage.

"Send out a search party."

"Sayid..."

"He's only a child, Jack. If we go, then I don't know how much longer Michael will stay at camp."

A/N: Just a short chapter I know, and not much Jate. There's not much Jate interaction in the next chapter, but there's a lot of fun, as well as some girly revelations. But don't worry, there's Jate due, and a lot of it :D


	6. Haunted Tease

"Well, mornin' Freckles."

Kate looked up from where she was filling water bottles to see Sawyer approaching with his usual smarmy face and cheesy grin. She rolled her eyes. "What do you want?" She asked bluntly.

"Why so grumpy? PMS?" Kate glared at him, and Sawyer backtracked before she decided to hurt him. "Just come over for a friendly neighbourhood chat." He said, holding his hands up and sitting on a rock that was higher up that hers.

"Sawyer, having you for a friend is rather like owning a pet disease." She said, trying to hide the venom in her voice.

"Aw, Freckles, I'm hurt." He said, placing a hand where his heart was. "I value our friendship."

"The only thing you value about me is your need to win me over." She said, knowing that this conversation was only going one way. "Forget it. I'm with Jack." She reminded him.

"I kinda noticed." He shrugged. "In fact, I was just coming over to express my congratulations."

Kate looked over immediately. "What?"

"You heard me." He said with that grin.

"Are you serious?" She asked.

"Hell, it was pretty obvious that we never stood a change so long as Doc was around. I mean, you're a sexy girl, and he's...well, he's the only one who brings you out all starry-eyed..." She smiled and looked away. "Yeah, that's the look." She laughed a little at being caught out. "I'll hand it to him, he sure knows a great girl when he sees 'em, and if he's the one that makes you happy, then I guess that I'm gonna have to accept that."

Kate and Sawyer shared a long look, and then Kate smiled again. "Thanks, Sawyer." She said.

Sawyer looked away nervously, apparently the idea of being thanked wasn't something he was used to. "So...I didn't see you at my ceremony last night." He observed.

Kate smirked. "Your ceremony?"

"Don't tell me that you don't remember half the camp throwing me off into the ocean at your call."

Kate grinned even more. "Oh...that." She said innocently. "How was it?"

He glared at her with the usual Sawyer sarcasm. "Cold. I would have thought that you'd like to give the honorable shove, but it was Rambina that did the honors. Where were you?"

"I stayed at the hatch." She explained, capping the lid to another bottle that had been filled.

"Oh really?" He asked curiously.

"Yeah, I was tired." She explained.

"Thought I saw you dropping off on Doc's shoulder before our game." He said teasingly.

"I had a long day." She said simply.

"Can't imagine you got much sleep last night either."

As soon as Kate realised what he was implying she looked around at him, absolutely speechless. "Sawyer!"

He shrugged, ignoring the death stares that he was receiving from her. "Only a matter of time before the two of you consumated your relationship. I just call them how I see them."

"Then I think you should wear your glasses more often, because you're seeing them wrong." She said bitterly.

"What, so you didn't have a roll in the hay last night?" He teased.

"I'm not discussing this with you." She said.

"Why not?" He asked unfairly.

"Because it's none of your business." She explained simply.

"Of course it is!" He reasoned. "I've got to sleep in that bed at the hatch too sometimes. I should know whether it's tainted or not."

Kate sighed heavily, rolling her eyes at him. "Believe it or not that has not negotiated my need to tell you anything." She said to him.

"Aw, come on, Freckles. You're gonna go tell Claire anyhow." He assumed.

"Tell me what?"

They turned to see Claire approaching with Aaron settled against her shoulder. Kate smiled, and handed her a bottle of water, and she accepted it with a returning smile. "Sawyer's being a jerk." Kate explained.

"You don't have to tell me that, we all know." Claire laughed.

Sawyer dropped his hands in his lap loudly. "Thank you. I am still here you know."

"You don't have to be." Kate suggested.

He pointed a finger at her. "I'm not going anywhere until you spill the beans."

"On what?" Claire asked, sitting between them on another rock.

"She won't say whether or not she's jumped in the sack with Jacko yet." Sawyer said before Kate could get her version in again. The last thing he wanted was to get teamed up on by the ladies of the island. They could be very viscious.

"Why do you want to know that?" Claire asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Because." He said easily.

Claire laughed. "Forget it, she won't tell you."

"And how the hell do you know that?" Sawyer asked.

"She won't."

"Look, I just want to know for blackmail purposes whether they've decided to hump and screw yet." Sawyer explained dramatically.

Claire snapped at him instantly. "Do you mind, there's little ears around!"

Sawyer laughed. "Come off it, Mamacita. You've hear worse language around I'll bet."

"I was talking about Aaron not me!"

"What, I can't say hump or screw infront of the b-a-b-y?" Kate and Claire stared at him for a few seconds, before Sawyer actually caught onto what he had said. "I just spelled the wrong words then, didn't I?" They both nodded. "Forget it, I'm out of here."

As Sawyer walked away, Kate turned back to her bottles, only not actually doing anything with them. Sawyer would never understand why she wanted to take things slowly with Jack, so she wouldn't even start to explain to him about her past.

Her horrific childhood had ended when Wayne started to rape her, and she grew up quicker than most children. Most nights, she had to defend her younger brothers from his hits, and she was the one to cook them dinner and send them off to bed when her Mom was working the night shift at the diner, leaving Kate and her brothers alone in the house with Wayne. The boys were the only reason why Kate didn't leave sooner, because whenever she tried to run away, Wayne would always take it out on them.

When she was older, twenty years old, she finally met a man that she could trust. His name had been Darren, and they had seen each other secretly for a few weeks before her parents found out. She was still living with them so that she could protect her brothers, and had even missed out on going to college so that she didn't leave them. Her mother said it was a waste of her grades, but she didn't care.

Darren had been a distraction from her home life, but because of what Wayne did to her, she never found herself capable of sleeping with him. She hated herself for that her virginity had been taken by her father, and not her boyfriend, but every time things started to get heavy with Darren, she came up with the age old excuse that she wanted to wait until she was married before she had sex.

So he proposed to her.

Infront of her entire family.

Of course, they were all so pleased for her, that she couldn't refuse, and that meant that at some point, she would have to sleep with Darren, and this scared her to no end. She had never known the pleasure that her friends talked about from sex, she only knew the pain that remained after Wayne left her room, and the fear that began when she heard her bedroom door open. So she accepted his proposal, hoping that when the time came, he would understand why she needed to wait just a while longer.

If only it had been that easy. In the weeks leading up to their wedding, that had been held in the local community centre on a horrible rainy day, wearing a dress that she didn't even like, but was affordable, Darren became increasingly friendly with Wayne. Kate always wondered what he was telling Darren, and whether it was about her or not. When the wedding night finally arrived, Kate found herself even more scared than when her bedroom door used to creep open. She had tried to explain to Darren why she couldn't go through with it, but he didn't understand. Wayne had told him that she was a liar, and not to listen to anything she says, and Darren had chosen to listen to Wayne over her. So he had done the only thing that appartenly worked.

He had forced her, just like Wayne did.

And unlike she thought, it hadn't changed with Darren. He used to come home from work, and when the front door shut, the same fear used to sweep through her, and she started to work the night shifts at the diner with her mother so that she didn't have to get into bed with him every evening. Yet whenever she got home, sometimes at 3am, he was always still awake, waiting for her. She couldn't escape.

"Kate, Kate?"

Kate shook herself back to the present, seeing that a worried Claire was calling her out of her reviere. "Sorry." She said, running a hand through her hair, and forcing herself to concentrate on Jack, not Wayne or Darren.

"Are you Ok?" Claire asked worriedly.

"Yeah," Kate backtracked. "I just zoned out for a moment there." She explained.

"Suer you're alright?" Claire checked one more time, seeing the haunted look in Kate't eyes, and she had to wonder what memories the conversation with Sawyer had arisen.

"I'm fine." Kate said again with a smile.

"So..." Claire continued. "Now that Sawyer's out of the way, have you?"

Kate frowned for a moment. "Have I what?"

"You know...you and Jack...together..." Claire suggested.

"Oh!" Kate realised. "No." She said simply. "We're taking things slowly, don't want to mess anything up." She loved talking to Claire, it was always so easy to get things off her chest. Claire, Sun and Libby were the only females on the island that she actually had proper conversations with. Jack was fine, more than fine, but sometimes, you can only talk about things with another woman.

Claire smiled softly at Kate. "Kate, nothing between you and Jack could ever get messed up. You're perfect for each other."


End file.
